Mermaids do not exist, U.S. government agency confirms

(CNN) - One of John Athanson's earliest memories is seeing mermaids at Weeki Wachee Springs, the "City of Live Mermaids."

Today, the 47-year-old is the public relations manager for Weeki Wachee Springs State Park, and has been for 10 years.

The park north of Tampa, Florida, hosts shows year-round involving women dressed as mermaids. It bills itself as "a magical entrance into a mysterious blue underwater world of mermaids, manatees, turtles and bubbles."

"If you ask me, (mermaids) do exist," Athanson said Thursday. "They exist, and they exist right here in Weeki Wachee."

He was responding to the U.S. government's fresh announcement to the contrary.

Kristen Stewart and Rob Pattinson Break Up: Their Relationship as Told in the Tabloids

As of Sunday, May 19, Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart called their relationship quits for the second time. Or was it the third? Or fourth? It's so hard to keep track of these things. Luckily, we have the tabloids to remind us of the couple's highs and lows. Remember that time Rob popped the question, or when Kristen got pregnant? Neither do we, really, but the weekly mags swear it happened.

To help us say goodbye to Robsten once and for all (maybe), we took a look back at their romantic journey, as told through the tabloid covers.

Tim Curry Reportedly Suffers a Stroke

A prominent presence in Hollywood for four decades and counting, Tim Curry might be most recognizable to you as the duplicitous butler from Clue, the voice of the maniacal smog in Fern Gully, or (most likely) the larger-than-life antihero Frank-N-Furter at the head of The Rocky Horror Picture Show. DailyMail reports that the 67-year-old character actor suffered a str oke on Thursday night at his home in the Los Angeles area.

U.S. CONFIRMS EXISTENCE OF MERMAIDS

The National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA) confirmed that mermaids exist and that they are growing in numbers.

The National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration reportedly published a post on their “Ocean Facts” newsfeed titled “Conclusive Evidence of the Existence of Aquatic Humanoids.”

The agency went on to say that “magic females”, who first appeared in cave paintings in the late Paleolithic (Stone Age) period some 30,000 years ag, when modern humans began to sail the seas, do exist and are living in all the oceans of the world.